Saturday, March 21, 2009

stories from the city, stories from the sea

the reason why pj harvey made me romanticize new york.

i will always love pj harvey, even if she starts to make bad records, i will keep on listening to them, yet i don't really see the possibility of that happening because she is so goddamn good. i bought stories from the city, stories from the sea in 2001 while i was in paris and i thought it to be ever so romantic, every song was a love song and there was nothing to it, they were simple lovely songs about being in love, about being with someone else and enjoying the moment. when i went in 2002 to new york city and i fell in love with that boy i met at a record store, i knew it was the time for this record. i remember i took it with me and i used to listen to it over and over in his little apartment in brooklyn, which was smaller than my room, i swear. it was very dark, it had only one room and it had a mattress on the floor where we made love until i had to come back to manhattan and lie to my parents about my whereabouts. it was such a wonderful time, the lying, the secrets, the sleeping with a stranger and loved one at the same time. right now, i don't even remember his last name but if i did, i'd search for him and tell him how very much in love i used to be. i remember i felt so lucky for having a lover in new york so my favorite song in the record was good fortune. good fortune will always be my favorite song from that record. to me, it summarizes the perfect experience of being in such a big city, and the video, oh dear, how i love the video. it is the perfect representation of effortless chic, especially coming from polly, who before that, looked like the most beautiful mental patient ever seen (is this desire?, anyone?) but when i saw that video, and i saw the perfect straight haircut, the side swept bangs, the sunglasses, the stiletto boots and gold purse she swings around in delirious happiness. the little black dress with the deep plunging neckline, the long necklace of beads that never moves even if she dances and twirls around, i knew she was in love. that video is the perfect image of being and feeling beautiful in a city filled with reality, trash cans, crazies in the streets and 24 hour stores. the way she waltzes through night, she seems to feel so wild, so alive, so in love. in 2002, i wanted to feel like her, i wanted to have her confidence and style, i know now i didn't have it, i was brave but i was scared too and she does not look scared at all. right now, i am closer to her in that video. i live in a city that is filled with horror and ugliness, but i feel beautiful, most days, i feel like i am walking in cloud 9 most times and it's never because i am beautiful but because i feel beautiful, does that make sense? what i mean, is that it comes from the heart, not from my ego. i am in love again, with a different boy, the most wonderful boy in the world, but he doesn't live in new york, nor has a scary small apartment, so he is not new york to me, he's a bunch of other wonderful memories, but not new york, never new york. and even thought he will never be new york city he makes me want to dance and twirl around in delirious madness just like she does in that video. "your boy smile, five in the morning, looked into your eyes, i was really in love

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