Thursday, April 9, 2009


i wake up with the sweetness of your words lingering in my mouth, with a scent that is not my own, yet a scent that has become mine since the first night we spent together. i carry this scent like the perfume of the most exotic white orchid. when i wake up underwater i feel it slipping off of me and when i come back to my bed it cradles me and lulls me like a caress of yours only would. i wake up and think of you, i think of the nights in which you stop being soft and timid to take sweet release over me, your hands shaky and nervous, my body delicate and burning hot like a tuberose. (i remember every touch, every charge agaisnt me, the tension and the explosions, blood and pleasure, the feeling of welcoming you inside like i have never welcomed any other man. i feel you in me, the deepest, the strongest and most dangerous). i wake up and carry your shadow over my heart, over my body. i wake up only to repeat every kiss, every embrace time and time again until i am too tired and too hazy to dream anymore.

i want to be sad for you, under the night sky, with tired heavy eyelids and lashes eternally long. i want to be the “notorious white flower of nowhere”, skin like mother of pearl hiding a broken heart. dream not of anything else but of kissing me and only me, of the tender interior of our mouths like the depths of the ocean. dream and dream with the red of my lips, with the lingering scent oozing from my body under the moonlight. i want to sing you songs, promise you warmth and devotion in the loneliness of winters. i want to be reborn in your name, to rest in your arms for the rest of my life. i want to live for every embrace, for every caress that your hands could provide. i want to live for the urgency of your passion, for the incommensurable strength of your love. i have wanted to give my life away for you, to throw myself off cliffs to follow you, follow you wherever you go. i have wanted to forget my own wishes to fall in love with yours, i have wanted to renounce to the possibility of a life only to wake up to every whim that might spring from you most every morning. i have wanted to shelter your fears with poetry, fill you with dreams and fantasies. i want to be yours and no one else’s, but inside, lies a heart struggling to keep whatever i have that was mine before you engulfed me whole. inside of me, there is a heart that breathes more than your name. there is something else, something i still don’t know, but that it’s mine and only mine. i want to be in love, not to die because of it...

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