Thursday, April 30, 2009

things to do when you are blue

Be soft, be generous, be tender as a poppy, charming as a lady with long legs and perfect ruby lips, wiggle your toes, fix yourself some candy, look at the blue blue sky and think that someone else is looking at it too. Swing your hips like there’s no tomorrow, think about girl warriors, boy lovers, sailors and crying mermaids. Wear too much perfume, become sassy, become someone else and at the end of the day find yourself again. Pretend you are a movie star, wear sunglasses when you want to avoid looking at people, smile, do not cry, do not cave in, forget forget, fall in love all over again, think of babies, fat babies with pinkish cheeks. Wear a blue shirt, walk barefoot, remember how much you have loved, all the things you have given away, think that somewhere there is someone who is feeling lonely and isolated too, think about your mama’s scent, think of yourself when you were a baby and there was nothing else to do but sleep and dream of sheep. Sing in your car, sing at the top of your lungs, buy some flowers, red roses if you are feeling amorous, white roses if you are feeling innocent. Draw a nymph or two, pretend to be one yourself, think of the magic of mirrors (what a strange thing to have yourself looking back at you!) think of the cartoons you loved when you were a child, dream of better times, pretend to be fine just for a little while, tell yourself you have been and will be loved, loved like it’s the most important thing in the world. stand back and look at the beauty in your house, in your surroundings, try to spot knots in girls’ hairs, remember the tenderness of breasts, the loveliness of girls’ eyelashes. Think of your friends, piece together every detail from the day you met, think of the first time you felt love for them, tell them you love them, even if they will not say it back. Run as if you were running for your life, sit on the floor and do nothing, have a milkshake through a straw and have fun with the thickness and the consistency of it, write on your little love diary, call a loved one, feel how his voice resonates all over you, sending waves of pleasure and pain through your body. Dream of gauzy courtains, porcelain cups, of sugar melting in your favorite tea, think of Paris (we’ll always have Paris, won’t we?) think of your papa’s sad eyes, of your brother’s growth, of how different he seems to be now that he is a man. Paint your eyelashes black, wear powder blush as if you were Miss Marie Antoinette, watch a movie you love, make still frames out of it. Watch the nightsky, dream some more, love some more, do not give up, the blues will go away. Love some more, dream some more.

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