Thursday, December 31, 2009


I too want to be waited for, smash the clocks until it’s time for me to come into the night. I want to be picked away like a lily and sheltered under the soft morning light until I can bloom & fill the rooms with my scent and candor. I’ve been so tired, I’ve given away every wish hoping that by the moment I was wish-less I’d be ready for a new life, but I am not ready now, I am broken and emptied, filled with my lovers’ ideals of who i am, yet above all things, i want to be loved for who I am and not for what i could be. I want to be waited for not because I have spent a long time hiding but because I am sacred and cherished like roses growing in the snow. I want to be rubies and gold, I want to be held and caressed with tenderness. I want to be hidden away from the human realm until I am ready to grow and love again. If I am anything at all is hopeful. Hoping I have learned a lesson, hoping I have memorized the story, hoping I will come back home following the breadcrumbs instead of the tears. I want to be forever caught into this dreaming of dreams, a neverending flight of fancy. If there is anything I’d want from this new year is peace. Beauty is never a worry, for beauty is always around, in my house, in the warm loving words I read most frequently from darlings and loved ones but I do want peace. I want to be sheltered from sadness and heartache, and I do know how terribly impossible this is but there is no waste in dreaming and hoping. In the times I have lived, no matter wherever I have been I have loved with heart and soul and this year and forevermore, I too want to be loved like I have loved.

If you’ve been around and are leaving, find the love I never could provide.

If you’ve been around and have left, I loved you in every way I knew how;

If you’ve been around long enough, I love you and thank you ever so for loving me!

Have the most wonderful new year darlings.!

4 comments:

Mignonette said...

Life is tricky, and always interesting... we never know what may be hidden around the corner, but at least we know the sun will always shine, and the rain will fall... flowers always in bloom...

Have a magical and thrilling new year~ <3

c* said...

thank you darling mignonette. you mean the world to me! i adore you
have the most darling new year!

Sara B. said...

Diamond of mine, you will shine ever brighter! I think there is a communal wish for endless beauty this year, and it's so inspiring! I love you forever & ever. <3

c* said...

i love you ever so, my darling glistening ruby!

xo
c*