Sunday, October 31, 2010

♥ dear diary ♥

Dear diary

With time, it seems I need you less and less, not because I’m bored with accounting for a life that’s been as beautiful as a secret but because living a life in the moment has become more darling than dreaming of it. There has been far too many dramas, goodbyes, new kisses, relentless & non chalant fuck-ups, too many girls to love and admire and too many boys growing in the trees and me, feeling like a petal, like a glowing pearl, blushing like a cherry and falling in love. It all seems to make sense now, blooming an inner life is not something just anybody can do, you really have to make sense of what’s inside, crying, kicking, losing & loving again, your mother and the way she growed you like a lily, your father and his silences, your brother’s wild eyes and the girls with long hair and luscious lips you fall in love everytime. I don’t know if there will ever be a time for me to let you go but these days I am more passionate about living life than writing about it and I have you to thank for that. I was once worried I was never going to be able to be relaxed and satisfied and I still cannot say if I’m satisfied at all but I am calmer now, everything seems warmer and brighter and even if sadness and melancholy haunt me like a ghost lover, I do know I can live with them and not for them. I do know now that all you really need to be born is wanting to come out into the world.

I love you darling, you’ve been a shelter in the most terrible times.


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