Saturday, February 5, 2011

Lovey-dovey-silly-me, most mornings fly out the window as I get lost in the memory of your deep dark fawn eyes, that big Italian nose I like to surround with my rosebud lips leaving lipstick stains on your face…I think of you day and night darling, when I go to sleep and when I close my bedroom door, because if I lived in dreams, I would lived with you. All these housewife dreams haunt me wherever I go yet the only reason I am not your housewife yet is because you do not have a home, you see? We are both tangled in this life, with the most precious music playing in the background but without dancing shoes. I have always been the same, swan, pearl, lily, lover yet you’ve become so many different things in front of my eyes, it’s hard to keep track anymore… You’ve come blazed in gold, armful of flowers and treasures like a thug; you’ve come with blood-dyed hands, covered in war wounds, to lay on my lap and be healed and taken care of like a child. Ask me to fix a life that has no possibility of being mended and I will dive for the sea and bring home the pearls. If there is something I’ve found out being with you is that I am fucking restless, fearless, I’ll crawl through mud, I’ll walk the extra mile, I’ll cry and I’ll whine but I’ll always get my way. if I ever had to murder someone in your name, I’d be damn sure the weapon could never be found and If I could ask for one thing in the whole wide world is for something, someone to protect me from what I want because I know it’ll be the death of me. Lovey-dovey-silly-me does not believe in happy endings anymore, I just get by hoping one day I can find a way to outlive the madness and stay, stay wherever you are, for the longest time, without ever dreaming of running away

(haunting photograph by Allison Scarpulla)

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