Friday, September 2, 2011

Drained of blood, all the life energy has been sucked out of me by the wonderful strive of your power, when I say “you’re crushing me”, you answer; “it’ll be easier to eat you up later”. As always, you’ve come with your fangs sharpened, a killer bee sting on the paleness of my body and I am ready for consumption.

I’ve never been one to put up resistance, love is the only danger I take in spite of myself. I am blinded by your desire, I am nothing but the flutter of wings, the softness of velvet in your arms, every costume, a mere decoration of eyes and coy smiles. In our encounters, the cheater becomes cheated when every sly turn of my hips is perfectly met by your awareness of my intentions, and still you find confusion, the veil hasn’t been lifted even when you have seen my face covered with flowing strings of tears.

This haze I seem to emit all around me still troubles you more than you would ever dare admit, and you swim, baby, through tidal waves and mud, you claw your way out of my life trying to find the pearl, the hidden truth, you sew together every story trying to make up the web of me but not even I can do such a hazardous work, I’ve let go, my love, I try to forget and I promise myself to untie my past one day at a time. It’ll be a glorious day, the day I can remember no more.

What deceptions trigger you so? Is it the silence? my life as a spy of love? the girls holding the secrets of my life? the possibility of creating rippling waves in my body? I won’t bring you down any more than you are, I’ll be every vision you’ve ever had, I’ll be an empty vessel for the dreams you’d never dare to tell. Come with the burning thrive to pick me apart, eat my heart out, ask endless questions, I am a house of mirrors filled with flowers and smoke, you will come into me endless times but will always leave with a different fantasy.

photograph by Deborah Turbeville

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